Journey is an eternal part of one’s life. The everyday nuances, the daily life drama, the DTC ka safar, the metro ki dhakka-mukki, the passing greeneries from the window of the train…….each bit of this journey is a new experience summed up to the nanoscale of our beautiful life. This is what makes our life worth living for. These failures are the incidents which one rename as experience when one becomes successful. No-one actually knows which turn will lead you to a sparkling destination and which roads will lead you to write a very new chapter of your life. This is the case depicted from the part of the real life of village boy, the road which he took, if to quote the father of his childhood’s friend “bahut bada risk” and it is truly unimaginable to how far he has come with that blurred vision, a 15 year old boy who had no one to guide him, no one to even tell him that which entrance exam a student pursuing science will have to give or what are the fields one can explore in college in the terms of courses offered. A boy from a rural village of Gorakhpur situated near Nepal Border in Uttar Pradesh comes to Delhi without having a clear vision of his roadmap of how to do things in life, though he knew what he was supposed to do.
Some elder people just blind-foldedly telling him to follow the MASSES which had its M in the silent mode. Engineering. You should pursue engineering because your ultimate aim in life should be to earn money. No money, no livelihood. But bhaiya, he said, I just simply love Physics. That’s it. And I have never thought of Engineering. I am planning to become a scientist like the one Dr. Kalam is. Dimaag toh theek hai naa tumhara, replied the elder brother. Just remember, a successful person is the one who can buy whatever he wants. To buy what you want, you need money and to earn money science is not the subject to pursue. Accha chalo, what about Commerce. You can go to MBA or become CA. These people don’t earn money but they are the ones known as ‘paise chaapne waali machine’. Only people like them can achieve something in life. I bet you if you get more than even 75% in your class 10th board exam in science, you can pursue it. But if not then go for commerce, engineering or arts because science tumse nahi ho paaega. To read science you need brains and you are from a village, a dehati and your mind is filled with shit and crap. This was the turmoil of events going in the life of a 15 year old, family addicted boy who was never away from his parent’s eyes even at his naani’s house. Such was the pressure mounted on him, his innocent dreams which was somewhere crushed between making money and duniyadaari. All he could think, was whether he can get par 75 marks in Science in boards or not. He called one of his very dear friend and asked him to mail all the Physics, Chemistry and Biology paper so that he could actually check whether he was getting at least 75 or not because in ICSE board one has to face these subjects independently of 100 marks each. After trying all the possible permutations and combinations the score was settling near around 82-83 marks in average mode. J
Smile. Relief. Tears. Now he can do physics and become scientist.
A week later the results of board exam were announced. 74, read the scorecard of science. His fingers on the keyboards were struck as if he has received some deep shock. An ocean of tears came rolling down his eyes, without even making a voice of hiccups. All the dreams were shattered by 1 mark difference. The tears could not stop even for a single femtosecond. Everything was gone. His dreams, his idol Dr. Kalam, his faith in GOD, his faith on ICSE board, his faith on luck, everything. He was completely left shattered from inside. No poet in the world could have measured the fathom of emotional trauma he was going through, with their literary word.
He called his father. Papa (with tears in his eyes and hiccups in his heart) papa hame physics padhni hai. Hum bekaar nahi hain. Haan hum chote shehar ke hain, in bade-bade logon jitne acche nahin hain lekin hum dheere-dheere shekh lenge. Hume sab samajh mein aata hai is subject mein. Yahi ek aisa subject hai jo hame padhne ki jarurat nahi padti. Papa please hame scientist banne dijie naa. Hume nahin kamaana hai paisa. Hum gaadi mein nahin ghoomna chahte hain. Hum bas vo karna chahte hain jo hame accha lagta hai. Please papa. Hume paisa nahin kamaana hai. All his heart was still filled with tears and it seemed that on that day, on that call to his Papa, the tears seemed to come out from the heart and not from the eyes (आँखे कभी नहीं रोती, हमेशा दिल रोता है | आखें तो बस दिल के हालात बयाँ करती हैं |). After listening to all the hiccups and feeling the tears of his son who was 794 kms. Away from his family and crying just to pursue his dreams, he said Beta, tumko jo accha lage vo karo. Tum kisi se kam nahi ho aur tumko kisi se baraabari karne ki jarurat nahi hai. Tum jaise ho acche ho, vaise hi rehna. Doosron ki tarah mat bano. Doosron ko apni tarah banne par majboor kardo. These words from his father gave him a sense of relief that yes there was some person on this planet who was still believing in him, in his dreams and not judging him on his marks. He felt a sigh of relief that yes somebody is there to defend him against evil money makers’ streamlined mentality of people.
The sun was on its verge to set and it was around 06:45 in the clock, the bell rang. He opened the door and it was his Bhaiya. His nerves shrivelled and he became cold. A juggle of fight began in his mind that he can convince him on pursuing what he wants on contrary to what Bhaiya wants him to pursue. He kept convincing himself in his mind that these are the ways in which he will explain his dreams to his bhaiya and he will surely understand that making livelihood is much more important than making money. An hour or two passed in this process and finally his heart was happy that he can now convince him on his dreams which did not seem much attractive to make money and buy things one wants. Aaj toh tumhara result aane waala tha, kya hua, he inquired. Haan bhaiya aa gaya result dopahar mein hi. Computer mein 95 aaya hai. History & Civics and Geography mein 83 aaya hai….breaking his continuity in between, he asked Science mein kitna hai. His heart throbbed for a moment, his face became pale. (Silence surrounded him) He paused. Arey chup kyun ho, science mein paas toh ho gaye naa ‘dehati ladke’ (in a taunting manner). After gathering all the energy he had, he replied, bhaiya 74 aaya hai. Laugh, Laugh and Laugh echoed and reverberated from all around the corners of the room. Bua, Bhaiya, Foofaji, they all laughed on the helplessness of this 15 year old kid who was away from his family. They all laughed onto the fate of this 15 year old kid, which no one even knows what he was going through emotionally deep down his heart, below his eyelids and in his neurons.
All his faith, all his dreams, all his energy slowly began to shatter on seeing people laughing at him and saying him bad things, cursing him with the best of their abilities. His eyes was again filled with tears but this time not a single drop rolled down. What kind of energy has still kept that drop of tear on his eyelids without making it fall down was something magical. Maine bola tha naa ki tumhaari aukaat nahi hai is subject ko padhne ki bhi. Aur tum scientist banoge. Zara spelling batana scientist ki, bhaiya taunted. So it is now decided that you are going to take either arts or commerce, he told. Bhaiya lekin hum…. Cutting him in the middle of his words I am not asking you pappu (yes that was the name which was used in a taunting manner to tell him every time that he was not worthy of anything), I am commanding you. Agar tum jaise dehaat ke ladke science padhenge to bade sheher waale kya karenge. (After an hour and half) His papa called on Bua’s phone to convince her and everyone that I was capable of doing what I wanted and they should allow me to do it. After speaking tremendous amount of humiliating and embarrassing stuffs to his father, they said if anything wrong happens to him or he goes on wrong path then we are not responsible. It is completely you who is responsible if he fails in his 11th or 12th standard science. Khel lo iske upar ek juaan (gamble). After embarrassing his father she handed over the phone to me and from the other side papa said, beta tumko jo padhna hai padho. Jo dil kare karo. Bas bharosa rakho. Sab theek ho jaaega. And his father’s voice and his words melted his heart again and he was on the verge of crying and in between his bhaiya came in front of him and said mai bhi dekhunga ki tu, tera baap aur teri maa tujhe barbaad hone se kaise bachaate hain. PAPPU. Tere jaise log hum jaise logon ke ghar ke commode saaf karte hain. Naukri chaie hogi toh aa jaana. He went saying this switching off the lights of the room. Such a humiliation it was that the drop of the tear which were left after papa’s words on his eyelids actually fell down kissing my cheeks. That was the night of darkness which had his sighs, hiccups and tears stored somewhere deep down the sub-conscious mind. But there was a sense of happiness also as he was able to just feel that he will be following his dreams, his passion, and his subject.
Five years have passed now. That 15 year old kid who came with the dreams in his eyes of studying Physics and becoming like Dr. Kalam has travelled a long journey. He not only passed his 12th class exam but was also the topper of his 11th and 12th class science batch of his school. Yes that school of Delhi which had the students of DELHI (the ELITE CLASS, the METRO STUDENT and the CREAMY LAYER), the students who were framed to him, some years ago as they were THE BEST and no one can surpass their smartness, their level of intelligence and so on. That Dehati village boy, that PAPPU boy has travelled so far in these 5 years by crawling that he has reached the University which is listed in TOP 100 best universities on the WORLD. This boy who was cursed that he will clean the commode of someone’s house is now studying Physics at the No. 1 University in India. This boy is pursuing his dreams that he dreamt of with a blurred vision, no backup, mammoth curses of humiliation and embarrassments not only to him but also to his papa who kept his faith in his 15 year old son that today at 19, he is publishing his own research papers at his graduation level and that too in Physics. This boy who was humiliated with the title PAPPU, who worshipped Dr. Kalam as his idol actually got to meet him one-on-one. His bhaiya who had his degree in MCA and MBA, who used to curse him with the best of his abilities is currently working at a call center and earning 6k/month (remember even after doing MBA). This boy who was just 1 marks away from proving himself that he can also study science has now come a long way. This is the boy in whom his father poured his faith and blessing and assured him that one day everything will be alright. This is the Dehati boy who knew nothing about Duniyadaari. This is the boy who had no interest in making more money. This is the boy who just listened his inner conscience to study what he loves. This boy is ME. This boy has followed his heart even at tough times, his parents stayed there for him like his backbone and he kept on with his hustle and followed his mantra of kreezire (kreep your dezire). So just follow your heart and remember that GOD has his own ways of testing you. You might hate it at that very moment of time but later on you’ll realize that those incidents were just to shape you into a person of great intellect and persona. So never lose hope. Everything will be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the END. Rural and Urban boundaries on political map do not defines your ability to dream.
And Never Let your Parents down because they will always be there, holding your hands tighter even when GOD will trash you on your face.